Attention-Grabbers

One Saturday in April, the West Texas Whataburger drive-thru line was long, as usual. A customer named Michael Chico wasn't willing to wait. What was a hungry man to do? Michael decided to impersonate an off-duty officer and go to the head of the line. A real police officer was nearby, and he saw Michael cut in line. Michael was driving what appeared to be an unmarked police vehicle with lights and siren. The officer was suspicious and followed close behind as the car pulled out of the restaurant. The officer saw Michael continue to use the lights and siren as he drove through traffic lights, until he finally stopped at some apartments. When confronted, Michael admitted to impersonating an officer... a big no-no! Now he wasn't just hungry and impatient; he was also a dumb crook!

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On April 7, a shoplifter caused a bunch of problems in a Maryland Giant grocery store. The unnamed woman was detained by store security, but she ran off before the police could get there. She climbed on top of some items at the back of the store, then disappeared into the ceiling. Before anyone could get to her, she was out of sight... but trapped. Erring on the side of caution, the authorities, including a SWAT team, evacuated the store (which was closed for the rest of the day). The police took several hours figuring out how to get her down without injury. Finally, after a total of 7 hours and a lot of expense, they had the shoplifter in custody. And the cost of the items she tried to shoplift? $8.50!

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A masked man robbed a Subway restaurant in Olympia, Washington, on April 8, but fled the scene before the police arrived. The employees told the officers which direction he went, and gave them a brief description of the crook. That was all the police had to work with. But the dumb crook made it easy, tying a white bag marked with a huge dollar sign to his pants. No kidding! David Lingafelter was immediately arrested.