February 01st, 2016

    MEXICO - El Chapo has made it into the Dumb Crooks of the Month! Joaquin Guzman (his real name) escaped Mexico's most secure prison last July through a custom-made tunnel and disappeared. He was nowhere to be found. But the fame of Hollywood was his downfall. Guzman wanted his story to be made into a movie, but not just any movie. He wanted a Hollywood blockbuster. He started communicating with actors and producers who were working with the police. Eventually, the Mexican marines found that he was living at his secret home in Los Mochis, Mexico, and captured him in January.

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    TAMPA, FL - Lisa Myers, 56, was driving a car very slowly, as she kept on falling asleep. She looked like she was under the influence, so a ​police deputy tried to pull her over. But as he approached her car, she took off. She tried to lose him by pulling into a nearby parking lot. It didn't work. She ended up pulling right into the police station parking lot!

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    PHILADELPHIA, PA - Jason Hayes, 17, entered a house through a window and held an elderly woman at gunpoint. He made her drive to an ATM and demanded $2000, ​but the ATM would only allow a $460 withdrawal. He told her and her husband to meet him the next morning in the parking lot with $1500, and they agreed. Hayes left. The old couple called the police. The police did not expect the crook to actually show up, but sure enough, he did, right on time. But instead of the old couple waiting for him in the car, he found a couple of police officers, who arrested him and sent him to jail.

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    NORTH TROY, VT - Cedrick Bourgault-Morin, 21, of Quebec, Canada, crossed the border without being detected. A U.S. Border Patrol agent tracked footprints in the snow leading into Vermont. The agent continued to follow the tracks as two other agents went ahead of the illegal border crosser. Cedrick, ​dressed in white, was spotted pulling a sled. When he noticed the agents in the distance, he tried to bury the sled in the snow. Too late. The agents arrested Cedrick and seized the sled with its contents... 182 pounds of pills called Xanax, valued at over $1.5 million!

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    REXBURG, ID - Two marijuana smugglers who began their journey in Las Vegas were headed to Montana for a big payday. They never made it. They never would have been caught if they hadn't turned themselves in. What happened? Shortly after leaving Las Vegas, they decided to sample the merchandise. They were having a good time until they crossed into Idaho. That is when they started to become paranoid (one of the side effects of smoking marijuana) as they continued to smoke the stuff. Convinced that the other cars on the road were unmarked police cars, they pulled over. They called 911 and told the dispatcher that they surrendered and that police should just arrest them and get it over with. The dispatcher, not knowing what they were talking about, told them to explain. They did. When asked for their names and location, they told him. When the dispatcher told them that a marked police vehicle (they had no unmarked vehicles) would be there shortly, they said, "thank you", and sounded relieved. When asked if they had any guns or weapons, they said, "No, just some snacks." Maybe more crooks should smoke marijuana! Just kidding.

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    FARGO, ND - An officer with the North Dakota Highway Patrol pulled over a vehicle early in the morning on January 22 for a traffic violation. But the male driver fled on foot, and the officer lost him in a residential neighborhood. Time to call on Falco the K-9 wonder dog! Within a short time, Falco found the crook in a large trash container. When the crook tried to flee again, one of the officers ​on the scene tased him. The dumb crook should have cooperated!

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