847-529-0585
The Town Sound
  • Home
  • Current Issue
  • Past Issues
    • 2020 Issues
    • 2019 Issues
    • 2018 Issues
    • 2017 Issues
    • 2016 Issues
  • Contact
  • Other
    • Find a Copy
    • Subscribe
    • Donate

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

12/1/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
    Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles, a government agency, is allowing Lindsay Miller to wear her ridiculous headgear even though their policy does not allow head coverings in license photos. Why? Because there are exceptions for religious reasons. So Lindsay is allowed to wear a spaghetti strainer or colander in her driver's license photo. For religious reasons?! Yep. Lindsay is a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. No kidding! She refers to herself as a Pastafarian. What is Pastafarianism? A social movement that promotes a light-hearted view of religion and opposes creationism and intelligent design. What?! Maybe they oppose intelligence! And if I offend any Pastaheads or whatever they're called, I don't care!
    This "religion" describes heaven as a stripper factory and as a place with a beer volcano. It says that the Flying Spaghetti Monster invented the lawn sprinkler and other nonsense! Give me a break! Only in America would this be called a religion. Anyone may become ordained for a $25 fee. Once ordained, the minister's card says they now can exercise their duties to preside over "marriages, baptisms, giving last rites, and casting out false prophets". This isn't right. It's more than foolish. It's idiotic. It's not a religion and should not be counted as one! What has America come to?!
     What's next? Footballism? You know, where they have to wear helmets all the time. Or Astronautism, where members have to wear full astronaut gear to live. What about Nixon-cultism? Members have to constantly wear a Richard Nixon mask! And don't forget Loserism, where members wear a paper bag over their heads everywhere they go. Do you see my point? Stop the madness!!

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Will Schultz
    ​June 2014 - present

    Archives

    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Click here for a monthly subscription by mail. 
You can also pick up a FREE copy anytime at Zion Oasis, Jewel-Osco, Piggly Wiggly, or PNC Bank in Zion; at The Sweet Stop in Winthrop Harbor; and at Woodman's in Kenosha. See the inside back cover of our latest issue for a complete listing of other businesses where you can find The Town Sound.
Contact us   .   Home   .   About us
Click here to unsubscribe from deliveries.