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Armadillos, Social Security Benefits, and Raw Fish

5/1/2015

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Did you hear what happened in Georgia this past April? Larry McElroy, 54, shot his mother-in-law, Carol Johnson, 74, in the back! She survived, and he was not arrested. What?!  Larry stayed out of jail by telling police one whopper of a tale: he shot and killed an armadillo, but the bullet ricocheted off its shell and a nearby fence, went through the back door of Carol's mobile home, then pierced the back of a recliner where she was sitting... about a hundred yards away from where Larry shot his pistol. Yeah, right! No way! His mother-in-law?! In the back?! Why did the police believe him? After an investigation, the police had to conclude that the tale Larry told was entirely true!


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In Tampa, Florida, John Helinski was homeless for several years, sleeping under benches where nobody could see him. He lost everything, including all of his identification. A Tampa policeman, Dan McDonald, helped him get a bed in a homeless center. Then, with help from John's caseworker, Charles Inman, they got a new birth certificate and Social Security card. Shortly after that, it was discovered that John had a bank account where his Social Security benefits had been automatically deposited monthly for years... the funds totaled over $100,000! Now he can buy his own home.


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Louis Jordan, 37, of South Carolina, was last heard from in late January, when he went sailing into the Atlantic. After an extensive search, the rescue efforts were called off in February. All hope was gone. Louis was presumed dead. That is, until April 2, when he was discovered and rescued. Louis explained everything. His boat had capsized. The mast and all of the communication equipment was missing or damaged. Louis stayed alive by drinking rainwater and by eating raw fish he managed to catch. Amazing! Sushi, anyone?

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